AJ (the_dark_fyre) wrote in angryletters,
AJ
the_dark_fyre
angryletters

Dear relatives of the departed,

PLEASE stop complaining to me that the cemetary looks like shit. Yes, I know it does. No, I cannot change this. I am a grasscutter, they pay me 11.50 an hour to make sure you can see the markers through the grass weeds. And while you're at it, please please please stop leaving so much crap just lying around and complaining when it gets broken. We use industrial strength weed-whackers. If you put something on a GREEN stick, in the middle of a GREEN field, it is likely it will be whacked, and I will be cursing because this means I have to stop and try to fix whatever-it-was or at least try to hide the broken bits. Same goes for silk flowers lying in the middle of the rows. It gets really annoying to stop and get off the riding mower because you won't use the damn vase that's attached to your frigging markers.

And stop being so touchy about how we're treating the place disrespectfully. The majority of the tenants are dead and they haven't complained yet.

No love,

Wage-slave


Dear head:

Look, I know the weather's being screwy but must you subject me to mild-to-moderate pain at any and EVERY change in the climate? I'm drinking water and eating healthy, what more do you want?

Yours,

Owner-occupant
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